Microsoft would rather spend money on AI than give workers a raise
Opinion At least that's what internal comments from the CMO make it sound like
AI + ML25 May 2023 | 11
Vulture Central's sub-editor studied Ancient History at university, but somehow ended up handling The Register's UK production. An old-school journalist, he started out in regional news when it was still printed on paper. He likes beer, heavy metal and video games a bit too much, and you can sometimes find him streaming on Twitch here. Typos may be his fault.
IT security analyst admits hijacking cyber attack to pocket ransom payments
Ashley Liles altered blackmail emails in bid to make off with £300,000 in Bitcoin
Cyber-crime24 May 2023 | 20
Parent discovers the cost of ignoring Roblox: £2,500 and heart palpitations
10-year-old hacks family iPad and goes on in-game bling shopping spree
Offbeat22 May 2023 | 71
We regret to inform you Earth will not be destroyed by an asteroid within 1,000 years
Never mind, there's always nuclear war and climate catastrophe
Offbeat17 May 2023 | 38
OpenAI's Sam Altman rattles tin for crypto startup that will support bot-replaced workers
Idea is to scan irises to disburse universal basic income just for being human
Offbeat16 May 2023 | 20
Elon Musk finally finds 'someone foolish enough to take the job' of Twitter CEO
Opinion Though we're not sure NBCUniversal ad exec Linda Yaccarino appreciates the description
Personal Tech12 May 2023 | 102
Alien rock causes cosmic disturbance in New Jersey home
Potential meteorite excites everyone but the insurance company
Offbeat11 May 2023 | 36
The world of work is broken and it's Microsoft's fault
Employees are wasting literal days on meetings and email – but in rides AI like a knight in shining armor, right?
Offbeat10 May 2023 | 57
Meta CEO doesn't Zuck at Brazilian jiu-jitsu, apparently
'Silent killer' Mark bags himself top medals in tournament
Offbeat09 May 2023 | 22
Pixies keep switching off my morning alarm, says Google Pixel owner
That's certainly one of the stranger headlines we've written
Offbeat04 May 2023 | 66
Handwritten Einstein essay on theory of relativity goes under the hammer
It's not an NFT either!
Offbeat03 May 2023 | 22
ChatGPT hasn't been around for long and Nvidia already wants to put a leash on it
NeMo Guardrails stops everything that made these chatbots so much fun
AI + ML26 Apr 2023 | 9
Techie sacked after jetting to tropical island on sick leave
'Let me tell you, I recuperated at home, and I followed the doctor's advice to recuperate at home'
Offbeat24 Apr 2023 | 34
Musicians threaten to make Oasis 'Live Forever' with AI
Comment Some things should remain dead
Offbeat21 Apr 2023 | 59
CEO sorry after telling staff to 'leave pity city' over bonuses
Video Put the $26 million in the bag
Bootnotes21 Apr 2023 | 89
Microsoft goes meteorological in defining cybercrook groups
Now here's Bill with the weather
Offbeat19 Apr 2023 | 9
Child-devouring pothole will never hurt a BMW driver again
Unfortunately...
Offbeat19 Apr 2023 | 130
Brits start 'em young with 20% of tots 'owning' a smartphone
And what are they doing with them? YouTube, lots of YouTube
Personal Tech17 Apr 2023 | 41
Elon Musk actually sits down and talks to 'government-funded media' the BBC
Updated Plus: RIP Twitter Inc – it's X Corp now
Networks12 Apr 2023 | 108
Tupperware looking less airtight than you'd think
The party could be over soon
Bootnotes11 Apr 2023 | 59
Royal Mail wins worst April Fools' joke 2023
Promises 11% pay rise after almost a year of negotiations and strikes over salary and conditions
Offbeat06 Apr 2023 | 61
It is now safe to turn off your brain: Google CEO asked Bard to plan his dad's 80th birthday
Though he never said he went through with the idea to 'make a scrapbook'
Offbeat05 Apr 2023 | 22
UK data watchdog fines TikTok £12.7M for failing to protect kids
Some 1.4 million under-13s used the app in 2020 by the ICO's estimates
Security04 Apr 2023 | 10
Paid and legacy Twitter verification now indistinguishable
Platform balks at April 1 deadline, tweaks wording instead
Offbeat03 Apr 2023 | 58
Here's a fun idea: Try to unlock and drive away in someone else's Tesla
Bring back keys! Bring back keys!
Offbeat15 Mar 2023 | 146
Microsoft and GM deal means your next car might talk, lie, gaslight and manipulate you
'ChatGPT is going to be in everything' says automaker
Offbeat14 Mar 2023 | 146
Yes, Samsung 'fakes' its smartphone Moon photos – who cares?
Comment Moon is real. Pictures of Moon are real. Phone uses lots of pictures of Moon to make your picture less crap
Offbeat13 Mar 2023 | 86
Welcome to Muskville: Where the workers never leave
Comment Your boss owns you AND your home – is this Texas utopia?
Offbeat10 Mar 2023 | 94
Adidas grapples with $1.3B in unsold Yeezy sneakers after breaking up with Kanye West
This is what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket case
Bootnotes09 Mar 2023 | 92
Wannabe space 'superpower' UK tosses £1.6M at eight research projects
Very world-beating funding
Science08 Mar 2023 | 65
Defense boffins take notes from sci-fi writers on the future of warfare
Neat! Everything's gonna be just like Call of Duty!
Offbeat02 Mar 2023 | 29
FBI boss says COVID-19 'most likely' escaped from lab
Latest claim comes days after Dept of Energy waved finger in China's direction
Offbeat01 Mar 2023 | 237
Japanese balloon startup wants to 'democratize space' – with $180,000 ticket price
Aim is to bring entry fee down to tens of thousands of dollars, if you have that lying around
Offbeat23 Feb 2023 | 21
Titanic mass grave site to be pillaged for NFTs
Comment Company claims that's the best way to put 'historical' legacy in the hands of the global public
Offbeat22 Feb 2023 | 56
Marketing company chases Twitter for $7,000 over 'swag gift box for Elon'
This is just a sliver of the $400,000 allegedly owed for branded merch
Offbeat21 Feb 2023 | 74
Yukon UFO could have cost unfortunate balloon fan $12
How much are sidewinder missiles going for these days?
Offbeat20 Feb 2023 | 128
UK tax authority nudges net 'influencers': You may owe us for those OnlyFans feet pics
Cue the dawning realization for thousands of content creators
Offbeat20 Feb 2023 | 189
Gen Z lingo and search engines: A Millennial Odyssey
Comment Alternative headline: The best use for nu-Bing Microsoft CTO could conjure was translating his daughter's slang
Offbeat16 Feb 2023 | 60
Take the blue pill: Keanu Reeves has had enough of AI baloney
Opinion Neo continues to rage against the machines decades after The Matrix
Bootnotes15 Feb 2023 | 66
The Pentagon is shockingly bad at managing its employee smartphones
Officials are using government-issued devices much like a teenager would – and that has security implications
Offbeat13 Feb 2023 | 19
Meta sees off another logo complaint from blockchain player Dfinity
What would possess a nonprofit to go after Mark Zuckerberg's empire?
Legal08 Feb 2023 | 7
Take the morning off because Outlook has already
We're down to Microsoft 364 again by first week of February
Applications07 Feb 2023 | 66
Cat saves 'good bots' from Twitter API purge
Account posting pics of pet returning home convinces Musk to chill about access rules
Devops06 Feb 2023 | 39
Generative AI is out of control: Nothing, Forever is a Seinfeld spoof about nothing... forever
Updated It's... actually kind of funny, though*
AI + ML03 Feb 2023 | 34
McDonald's pulls plug on Wi-Fi, starts playing classical music to soothe yobs
Welsh city of Wrexham has a reputation to uphold
Offbeat31 Jan 2023 | 140
Meanwhile, in Japan, pet fish run up credit card bill on Nintendo Switch
Gaming critters wreak havoc after Pokémon attempt crashes
Offbeat30 Jan 2023 | 22
Three seconds of audio could end up costing Fox $500,000
And that, kids, is why we don't play the Emergency Alert System tone on TV
Bootnotes27 Jan 2023 | 180
Amazon warehouse workers 'make history' with first official UK strike
GMB union demands 45% pay rise as members struggle with cost of living
Personal Tech25 Jan 2023 | 56
British monarchy goes after Twitter, alleges rent not paid for UK base
One appears to not have been remunerated, Crown Estate tells High Court
Legal24 Jan 2023 | 99
Rentokil uses AI rat recognition to plot extermination in real time
You know where they eat, where they sleep, where they live... then figure out how to whack them
AI + ML23 Jan 2023 | 24
Tone deaf? Microsoft must have booked Sting for Davos because he's a good singer
Comment But the next day it laid off 10,000 staff
Offbeat20 Jan 2023 | 31
Bringing cakes into the office is killing your colleagues, says UK food watchdog boss
Surely there are quicker and more effective ways to end your co-workers
Offbeat20 Jan 2023 | 208
Twitter 2.0 signal boosts Taliban 2.0 through Blue subscriptions
Comment Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of your actions
Networks17 Jan 2023 | 131
Of course U2 is one of Bill Gates' favorite bands
Mr Microsoft bares all in his 11th Ask Me Anything thread on Reddit
Offbeat16 Jan 2023 | 32
Software engineer accused of stealing $300k from employer was 'inspired by Office Space'
We know it's an influential film but that doesn't mean it's an instruction manual
Offbeat13 Jan 2023 | 46
Move over, Kraftwerk: These musical instruments really are the robots
One Hacker Band is a guitar, bass and drums that play themselves
Offbeat12 Jan 2023 | 25
Robot seal tested for stress relief on pretend Mars mission
Anything to avoid interacting with Elon Musk
Offbeat11 Jan 2023 | 29
Belarus legalizes piracy – but citizens will have to pay for it
Meanwhile, the regime is angling to pocket the money owed to rightsholders
Software10 Jan 2023 | 19
John Deere signs right to repair agreement with US ag lobbyists
Holy cow! Memorandum of Understanding to give farmers access to 'diagnostic tools' and documentation
Personal Tech09 Jan 2023 | 26
Uncle Sam OKs vaccine that protects honeybees against hive-destroying bacterium
Maybe humans could learn a thing or two about how modern medicine can prevent the spread of disease
Science06 Jan 2023 | 35
Biting the hand that feeds IT
